Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
