I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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