MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm sobbing to NWA
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
