Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
