How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize