By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
