i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
