Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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