This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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