we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
