Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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