So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
