I feel like abortions should bother me more
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
