She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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