come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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