why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
