I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
