Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
