note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
