I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i now understand why vodka
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
