OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
