She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
