He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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