Having a random hookup so left but love u
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
