Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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