I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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