Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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