i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
