Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
