we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
