The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
