Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
