I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
