I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're a waste of cheezeits
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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