I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
