you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
