I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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