Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
MIDGETS
????
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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