Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize