I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
