Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
