i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
