I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
