called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
