Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
