Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
