Welp...herpes.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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