You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
