Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
