Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm sobbing to NWA
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
