you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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