She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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