apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
