I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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