he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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