Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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