with your own penis?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize