So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
