your thong is hanging out like whoa
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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