yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
